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Welcome /
For the times that you made me smile.For the tears that you've seen me cry. For the months that we've been apart, For the knives that go through my heart. I am but a girl, Not a princess I am just a girl. Who is never satisfied with herself. I am only human. For i laugh, cry, hurt and love. This is my story, This is my song. This is my life, This is my voice. This is my blog, Not yours. I am, Stacieanne
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elmo is on my mine R.I.P Farrah Fawcett FUCK THE SWINE FLU, SINGAPORE'S HEALTHCARE SYSTEM,... to my dear yoyo2, list of what i wanna eat i dont like days off when i am staying at home. wh... Technicalities, Riveting Realities, Insecurities: ... catching onto the daisy obsession countdown begins you know how everyone says sometimes somethings ha... Credits /
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//Thursday, July 02, 2009 7/02/2009 05:48:00 AM
elmo is on my mine
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//Saturday, June 27, 2009 6/27/2009 08:51:00 PM
R.I.P Farrah Fawcett
![]() The strong and amazing blonde who had a brain and an amazing heart. Strength of epic proportions and the courage stronger than the greatest warrior ever in your fight against cancer. you've not been forgotten and will forever be missed in the hearts of men who have had fantasies of you, women who have adored and wanted to be like you but most importantly you'd be missed by the people who have found strength and courage to continue their fight against cancer through your own struggles. MJ was not the only legend lost on that fateful day, we lost the legendary coiffed hair, blue-eyed beauty Farrah Fawcett
// 6/27/2009 11:16:00 AM
FUCK THE SWINE FLU, SINGAPORE'S HEALTHCARE SYSTEM, THE STUPID SINGAPOREANS WHO DECIDED TO PARTY AT A CLUB, AND THE RETARDED QUARANTINE PERIOD
//Wednesday, June 24, 2009 6/24/2009 02:38:00 AM
to my dear yoyo2,
girl i know i am not there to physically be there to land the support you need or to be that listening ear when you are going through such a tough time. I just want you to know that i am here no matter what. relationships are tough with lots of ups and downs but it is through it all that you realize who you are deep down inside and what you truly want in life. you're one of the sweetest and most loving person that i know of and u most definitely deserve to be happy and you should never settle for anything less than perfection in your eyes. In times like these it might seem as though there is no light to the end of the tunnel but believe me there is. you've got friends who love you for who you are and support you unconditionally. Hang in there girl.
//Sunday, June 14, 2009 6/14/2009 10:40:00 PM
list of what i wanna eat
// 6/14/2009 10:10:00 PM
i dont like days off when i am staying at home. which is weird. i used to like days off. i guess that means i am not earning money and maybe i have to share the apartment with people. sometimes dont we just wish that we didnt have to share or just be left alone for a whole day? that's how i kinda feel right now. that pretty much sucks big time. oh well i gotta deal with it right
//Friday, June 12, 2009 6/12/2009 09:44:00 PM
Technicalities, Riveting Realities, Insecurities: Welcome to my life
WITH THE LENGTH OF THE ENTRY PLEASE EXIT THE SITE BY CLICKING ON THAT TINY LITTLE "X".Some people say my blog entries are way too long but like i have mentioned before, it's my blog and i will say what i want to say, however long the post may be and i honestly don't really care about your opinion all that much. Life as I know it has been filled with tonnes of ups and downs. Sometimes I just see hell in the downs and occasionally I get to see the heaven in the distance, not within my reach at all and sometimes I can barely put my fingertips to touch its gates. I honestly know that it’s through all the experiences that I’ve had: the good, the bad and the ugly that has made me become who I am today. I am the girl who has a bag full of insecurities, tonnes of wounds emotionally and maybe even mentally, and finally the doses of reality both large and small. Technicalities Have you ever wondered why we have to do stuff a certain way, say in a specific spiel or why we would just go through the motions in our every day lives. When I am at work sometimes I just get pissed off at how the importance of insisting on nitty gritty details and technical specifics take precedence. Like I would deny a kid who is too short from riding just cos they cant pass 42inches reason being, the kid would get hurt. But here is the thing, some kids have gone through the ride and not get hurt. Sometimes things are just the way they are I guess. We have no control over anything in its entirety. It’s just like how if you have a smile on your face and you’re not complaining about the things that bother you, you’re automagically fine. We’ve all learn how to hide how we thoroughly feel by baring in mind the simple technicalities and specifics in life to put on the show of a lifetime for a lifetime. I’ve learned to be a master of that in the past few years of my life to mask the insecurities and the battle wounds from the drama that has gone down. Riveting Realities Love, hate, friendship and betrayal is part and parcel of life and I think I have had my fair share. I’ve had opportunities that allowed me to grow so much over the past year and a half. Flying to the states to work with the giant companies Disney and now Universal Studios. It is just crazy, the growing up that I had to do and dealing with the realization that people change, I change. I have changed so much since the first trip. I finally found out what I want in life. I found out what I do not want to have, what is not healthy for me. And finally what helps me cope at times when my heart breaks. I’ve gone through the phase of growing up so to speak. I spent 3 years working hard during polytechnic education, made fantastic friends: yoyos and random. These girls and I have fought, laughed, cried and tasted the sweet taste of success when it came to the projects that we had thrown our way. I found friends who are near and dear to me. I lost a friend whom I will never ever be able to see again, her kind words and actions will forever stay in my heart. I have learnt that trust and respect goes hand in hand. I don’t trust anyone I don’t respect and I will only respect people whom I trust. Sometimes realizing that people whom you have spent great times with, stood by their side when their world seemed to be crashing just isn’t enough when you yourself needs to find yourself in the mess. Insecurities That alone I have a truckload. I guess I have to start with the way I look. I hate being constantly stared at, it makes me self-conscious. I am afraid of losing the one I love. Good things don’t always happen to me and it just freaks me out when things are going really well because I am so not used to it. I can have a whole post on my insecurities and I guess I should do that one day. ****************THIS IS THE END OF THE PRETTY LONG POST.******************** PS: I hate it when people are so pampered
//Friday, June 05, 2009 6/05/2009 08:50:00 AM
catching onto the daisy obsession
I love the bottle so much and the scent is amazing as well.![]() Isn't the pendant so pretty?!? This ring is so cute and it is gonna make me smell amazing. arent solid perfumes just amazing.![]()
//Monday, June 01, 2009 6/01/2009 08:25:00 PM
countdown begins
isnt this exciting i have 40 days left! i am gonna be down to the 30s in a couple of hours! AMAZING stuff. seriously. i gotta start thinking of packing and getting the gifts. i gotta hangout with the JP and CBR peeps. cos after these 38 days/37 days i have with them i may never comeback unless one of them gets married and invites me to their wedding. Monty is gonna have his wedding in 2011. so i gott save up for it. =)
// 6/01/2009 01:37:00 AM
you know how everyone says sometimes somethings happen for a reason. I know i live by that. i always say whatever happens, happens for a reason. Over the past year i have learnt so much from all the shit that has happened in my life. As my baby always says, when the shit hits the fan all hell will break loose. and yes in the past year or two. maybe even few. i have had so many changes in my life. Finding myself, finding true friends, dealing with drama, having experiences of a lifetime. Disney now Universal Studios. I found out what heartbreak was like, i found out what it is like to fall in love all over again. The whole butterflies in my stomach, heart racing once the phone rings and how a text message can put the biggest smile on my face. but through it all i found out what i want in my life. yesterday baby and i fought again but i was glad we did cos at the end of it all we laid down everything we didnt like about each other. The one thing that popped up with me is that i dont have enough self confidence. he said that i am not humble, i literally destroy myself and in hindsight i really do. I am never satisfied with my body, i always think i am the fugliest thing on the earth. when he says that i am beautiful or pretty or hot i just dismiss everything. I have problems with my self esteem which stems from a long history of never being the typical beautiful person. I dont have a gorgeous face, i dont have a fantastic body but i am me. big ears, freckles, wide jaw and the rest of the features that just doesnt seem quite right. I know i have a long way to go to increase my self esteem but with a boyfriend who loves me the way i am and tries his bestest to make me smile every single day. That is the very reason why i love him so much and i dont ever wanna see the day where i do not have him in my life. baby i love u so very much. 41 days left!
//Saturday, May 30, 2009 5/30/2009 07:14:00 PM
i cant do this anymore
//Friday, May 29, 2009 5/29/2009 10:09:00 AM
random stuff
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//Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5/27/2009 10:49:00 AM
i dont have a title for this post
ok today was movie night with the crazy folks from River and it was AMAZING! they are just funny people. having said that, work sucked as always. i have survived a week at river straight. 7 days in the rain pretty much sucks. I have been texting the boyfriend, going through the whole distance thing sucks but what to do, tahan for 5 more weeks. I miss him, i miss my friends, my family and i miss being back home where singlish is super thick and mats and minahs create havoc. time to be self-indulgent again.... baby i dont even know if u have the time to read this but i just want you to know a couple of things. When u told me about the shit that u are going through in camp, being marked the very first day u are on course made me feel sad that i cant be there for u. i know i cant be there physically but i cant even be there on the phone to listen to ur woes cos i am 12 hours behind you. i apologize for not being there at all. all i can do is text u stuff that will hopefully brighten up your day. You are an AMAZING person, soldier and boyfriend. Like i said before when people mark you down it is because there is a sign or caution, fear and a level of expectation that they anticipate. you are good at what you do, you are everything that they are looking for but they want to see you at your fullest potential, you breaking through that glass ceiling that may have existed before. I as your gf can only be here to cherish the moments that i have with you on the phone, give you the support that you need. i may not know everything, i may not understand everything but i will try. i love you baby ***************************************************************************************************** That was what i wrote yesterday but never published and i guess i was dumb to not do it. have a good dinner with the ex girlfriend, she came down all the way from Taiwan to see you. May you seek the closure that you are looking for and maybe if you find out that , that chapter in your life has not come to a close but it is a start to something so much better than before i will let you go. for your happiness is all that matters to me. i love you sergeant aziz. maybe i might seem as though i dont understand your work or the stress that you are going through. i know the distance has put a certain level of stress that i never knew could take place in a relationship that has worn me out a little bit. i am sorry that i have failed you.
//Saturday, May 16, 2009 5/16/2009 02:14:00 PM
crushed..
i am just crushed. i havent felt this way since 3 years ago when i was waiting for the 3rd of march 2006 and did not get a school. I have always wanted to go to a university, get a degree and maybe someday i would be a somebody. You know the way RGS or RI people at times they can be fucktards used to boast about they school they are in, the smart people who gets the As, the ones who can take on 100 subjects and languages and pass with flying colors. So u remember the sense of pride when their parents used to tell your mum and dad "Oh my girl is in RGS. the teachers there are very good. she is primary one but does primary 3 kinda standard" remember that stupidly heartbreaking feeling that you had being the 'less smart"kid. For once in my life i feel like i have done really well in school. I have done CONSISTENTLY well in what i do and i thought u know wad i can finally be the kid who is from that prestigious school to enable my parents to go "my daughter is in the university" after receiving the texts from my mum from NUS and NTU i am crushed. i feel like a total failure. so why study for exams? why be busy writing down notes that take forever to make? why bother staying up to do a decent job with the reports? why spend endless hours doing research, brainstorming about concepts, ideas and formulating the game plan. why do i even bother showing up? I feel sad, alone, crushed, demolished and i m hollowed out with stabs to the heart and what is left of a fighting spirit for now. i wish i had a hug, i wish someone would kiss me and say everything is going to be alright. i wish i had my mother here to tell me it is alright face to face and not through a phone call. i wish i didnt put so much of me into the whole studying process. I wish i didnt feel like a failure. disappointment is a bitch. so screw whoever wants to read this and gossip or bitch about me. i have one more university to wait for. and no i do not want to talk about it. so dont bother asking if i am fine. cos i am not. the only ppl who can ask me that are my family members and my boyfriend, cos these ppl have the right to scream at me when i cross the line and become nasty. no one deserves to go through that.
//Thursday, May 14, 2009 5/14/2009 09:27:00 AM
i miss the warrior
//Wednesday, May 06, 2009 5/06/2009 07:56:00 PM
the new maryanne
so ok due to some unforseen circumstances maryanne, my beloved MacBook had to undergo surgery. Yes she did, she was brave but her owner/mother/lover/ wadever however was not. the terror of forking out 200USD from her paycheck which is so tiny was scary. VERY VERY scary. i just hope i get to be in the video for universal singapore cos they are paying quite a bit balls. i need the money BIG time. On a lighter note, baby has mailed the package for me already =) now i need to wait patiently for either 13 or 19 more days before it arrives. i am waiting like 16 more days till it comes cos it is a rather in between number. I miss Singapore and I wanna go home. =( i will go home super broke and i havent bought the gifts for friends and family yet. that's cos of the stupid operation that had to be performed on my lappy. I need to buy food for next week too. which is an absolute bummer. then the week after is the bus card that i gotta buy which sucks cos it means more money that is flowing out. i need a second job but i am here for 2 more months. =( so how to find the 2nd job. i shall go on a diet that way i wont spend money on food PLUS i get to be skinny by the time i reach home. that sounds like a plan doesnt it?
//Monday, May 04, 2009 5/04/2009 10:34:00 AM
crazier
I am so in love with the song that is on this blog. when i hear it i think of him. it puts a smile on my face when i think about how he made me feel, feel emotion, the butterflies in my stomach when the phone starts to ring. I feel like i am floating on cloud nine each and every time his text has an "i love you". I don't want to trade this for anything else for he makes me believe in myself and in us. he gives me strength when i feel weak inside and i want to be there to make him smile, be the one who listens to him rant when he is pissed off. He drives me crazy in the right way. I am in love. anyways, enjoy the song.
//Saturday, May 02, 2009 5/02/2009 08:39:00 AM
shamlessness
![]() Boredom is a pain. it gives rise to shameless moments a plenty! well just 2 for now.
//Tuesday, April 28, 2009 4/28/2009 02:33:00 AM
let me be self indulgent
like the title says let me be self-indulgent so please let me be. i have learnt over the years to never pour my heart out on this blog due to various reasons but somehow i have the courage to do it today partly cos i don't give a hoot about how everyone thinks: this is what i want, this is why i am smiling every single day and why i hide in the laundry room to talk to him every single day, and cos i am halfway around the world and while he sleeps. so once again let me be self indulgent. remember this is my blog =)
OK that is the end of my self indulgent post. sorry ppl if it made u wanna puke but like i said earlier i dont really give a hoot right now. :p
//Monday, April 27, 2009 4/27/2009 02:59:00 AM
decisions
i am sitting at the dining table with my newly painted nails that are neon pinkish-orange called Lost Without My GPS from SEPHORA by O.P.I and it is distractingly pretty. i have a question, should i go to Redang or Bintan on a holiday when i get back?
//Saturday, April 25, 2009 4/25/2009 12:38:00 PM
Jurassic Park River Adventure at Islands of Adventure
MY RIDE!
//Monday, April 20, 2009 4/20/2009 11:47:00 PM
random ramblings
well hello world! To the people who know me and are wondering how i am doing. I have never been better. yeah right. i am dying from my prata cravings and i miss my sunday morning breakfast session with my cousins, having dinner with my mummy, using the MRT and the ezlink and a whole bunch of stuff that i cant do anymore. well to the people who don't know me just know that i am good and i hope that u are good as well. Anyways here is the deal i have been here for a month and i am jealous. jealous that almost everyone has family and friends coming over and i dont. it's like u can crash at my apartment and stuff. just help out with the chores and buy groceries and stuff. simple as that. what a good deal right. u save on hotel, u save on tickets to the park. and the best part, u see stacie! i know i m so not worth the plane ticket over. OK about the change in the facebook status, please stop the negativity cos i will not be able to take it anymore seriously. Things happen, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. i dont know where this will end up but i'm gonna leave it up to fate and just go with the flow. what matters is that i am smiling when the phone rings and yeah ppl u can call me on skype and stuff too u know. shopping? yes that has happened already which is making happy and sad at the same time. i m just wanting to buy more stuff, shoes, clothes, everything. i need to buy gifts too. too many things to do, not that much time left. ps: i love and i miss u guys
//Saturday, April 04, 2009 4/04/2009 08:20:00 PM
my life thus far
in case you haven't gone through my facebook pictures or talked to me yet or if u dont have me on MSN or twitter i guess you wouldnt know that i look after dinosaurs. Yes i work in Jurassic Park. How cool is that right. I know. so i work at this ride, it's the one with the yellow boat that drops 85ft at a 55 degree angle at the speed of 55mph when the boat is empty. so when it is filled it is gonna go a hell of a lot faster. So i work at this uber cool ride that takes amazingly long time to walk to from wardrobe which is a lil far from the park that i work in. SO everyday i take abt 20-30 mins to walk to work. Sounds like a workout? it is man. and i am darker now, there are tan lines on my wrist thanks to my watch. it's a gd thing i have a tiny watch. Imagine those ppl with the kickass huge watches that look like they could make u look like kungfu panda. they look really pretty on the wrist but once u remove them. OMG u would start looking like an army boy. Well u see i work with dinosaurs and they are really nice, but people sometimes act like T-Rex too and they can be very unpleasant. i got a couple of those already which was ok i guess. I dont feel like i m in america until i get 1. Stalked 2. Hit on 3. Followed home 4. Meet unpleasant people 5. have Wendy's. So to all my lovely ppl, i think i am in America. I am not feeling well again which is bad cos my wounds wont recover that quickly and that's all because i gotta stand in the rain at work. I am so not a fan of getting sick. SO ANYWAYS have fun in singapore people and know that i will be back soon.
//Wednesday, March 25, 2009 3/25/2009 03:03:00 AM
in the great unknown
I have some stuff that i have to tell everyone at some point in time but i just dont know how to do it. I am bored being at home cos i have 3 days off but i need the days off cos i am unwell. I feel lonely at times. Do i love where i live? yes i do cos i have a house of wonderful people but do i want to be in singapore. yes. why? cos i could have gone to my first ever social night. i could be back in singapore spending time with persons or person that i truly care about. i dont know what to type at the moment. i think i need some inspiration
//Saturday, March 21, 2009 3/21/2009 09:00:00 PM
So here i am, up at 9am. 9pm in Singapore having cereal for breakfast at the dining table, looking for people to talk to online and just missing people back home. So decided to update this blog of mine. I'm gonna make these kinda updates really short cos it's gonna be a waste of time if u're taking 15 mins to read a post. so here we go
//Wednesday, March 18, 2009 3/18/2009 08:39:00 AM
Update!
so i'm here in the living room of my apartment, watching family guy with my apartment mate daphne, thinking about someone who has made me start to think about him a lot more now than i ever thought i would. went for orientation, had a whole lot of drama thus far. i'm gonna go get ready to go out. will be back to update properly soon. =)
//Monday, March 16, 2009 3/16/2009 09:26:00 PM
I'm here
i've arrived, have my own room. and i am missing and longing for people, persons, food. My dearest Yoyo1 and Random thank you for being at the airport. when i read your postcards i cried cos i know that i am going to miss you girls so much. To the people who wished me well, each thought and words of strength has helped me come thus far. to the sweet people who wrote emails to me, i thank you for the time you took to pen things down. To the person that i was able to celebrate his birthday with, it was an honor. To Superman who got hurt, i hope the bruising goes down pretty soon, the fight was crazy massive in size, it was very scary to watch it happen. To the person who makes my surroundings hot, Orlando is a bit colder without that nonsense of yours. To my primary school friends, I MISS YOU GUYS! ok all in all, i am safe, i saved my laptop and i am doing pretty good. I miss you so much people!!! MUACKS!
//Wednesday, March 11, 2009 3/11/2009 06:34:00 PM
Lily Allen - Alfie
// 3/11/2009 03:01:00 PM
surprises
i finally have a tiny ass. haha.
//Friday, March 06, 2009 3/06/2009 07:49:00 AM
getting the Jager Bombs out of my system
i hate to admit it but i had fun at Dbl O last night. i can like count the number of times i have been there with 5 fingers and out of the number of times i have been there i never really had fun. partly cos it is a M&M-fied place and i cant stand the way i get looked at a majority of the time. Anyways thank you Pink Panther aka Superman for convincing me to go. Apart from the shitty ass raid, everything else was dandy. i went to bed at like 4 only to wake up at like 7 which is a curse. seriously. don't u just hate the morning after clubbing when your mouth and throat is all dry. as though u swallowed cotton balls. and then when u drink any fluids the whole alcohol effect sets in and it just sucks to the core and your gut is in like 10 different places at the same time. i dun like to puke and i don't intend to do so. i m just lucky i dun have hangovers that often. maybe that's due to me not sleeping all that much to let it even set in. =) i think that is a rather smart move but honestly i am freaking exhausted. i didn't get injured this time, not burns, scratches, pinches, elbows to the stomach. My ass didn't get grabbed by strangers. Safwannah was the only one who kinda grabbed it for a bit but like we've known each other for so long. I am so thankful that she's still the same and isn't pretentious like some other people that we've all come across before. oh my boobs weren't grabbed too or i never had people trying to do nasty shit to me. u know what DBL O HAS BECOME SO MUCH SAFER THAN PHUTURE!!!! i get injured there all the time or i meet tonnes of horny dudes. Oh speaking about safety, like i was on the train yesterday and there was the crazy person. he was harassing this gorgeous Malay girl who was there with her mum. he was looking all crazy at her asking if she was Singaporean, then he tried to poke her eyes out. thankfully her mum had intervened. cos if i were her i would have screamed. It was scary cos he was moving over to him when i heard the best sound played over the MRT train system in the entire world "ALJUNIED" i walked out of the train as fast as my legs could carry me. i think MRTs should ban crazy people like that . cos in hindsight if i screamed the dude would have overreacted and may have caused me serious hurt. So SMRT, please install cameras to watch over the cabins without raising our fares. please use our tax payers money for our own good. that way the personnel at each station can monitor activity on the train and take necessary precautions. u see the emergency button is useful in cases where there might be terrorism going on. NOT when there is a crazy person on board the train and making everyone freak out. u get what i mean? good.
//Sunday, March 01, 2009 3/01/2009 01:46:00 PM
Patti LaBelle Singing The Alphabet
OMG since when was the alphabet so cool!
//Friday, February 27, 2009 2/27/2009 01:33:00 PM
torn
i've been sitting here just thinking, thinking about the days when i didnt have a care, thinking about the months when i didnt have to share thinking about the years that have gone nowhere i'm thinking about the days where there was such a thing called trust thinking of the times when i thought i couldnt survive without an us. isnt it funny how time makes you grow isnt it funny how there are times when you just don't know. not knowing where to go not knowing who to trust not knowing how to love not knowing how to hurt. as innocent as we may have been as youthful as we have all once been the sands of time have slipped away leaving us in signs of decay. when dimples used to the biggest concern the war with pimples took over Now the battle grounds have been drawn with the never ending fight with lines and wrinkles soon the botox, facelifts and surgery will come. gone are the days when we'd be youthful gone are the days we blame on angst gone are my carefree days of school gone are the projects i once "love" gone is that class that was assigned to gone are the days we played bridge gone are the days we say "north, mac or koufu" i'm torn. i dont know to feel happy or sad i'm torn cos i m about to leave this land i'm torn cos i have absolutely nothng to do i'm torn cos i dont really know who u are anymore in other words i'm just freaking confused. :p erm KBox anyone?
//Monday, February 23, 2009 2/23/2009 10:41:00 AM
i miss you
//Monday, February 16, 2009 2/16/2009 07:31:00 PM
growing pains
I hate exams i hate studying i kinda hate char siew rice i never liked to always be nice i hate super skinny girls (For heavens sake please just eat something and be normal lookingor be like kate moss: get pregnant.)Forms are here the VISA is near i wanna fly off right now and not wait forever and turn into some fat cow i dont like being in this country for some dumb reason it feels like at any moment someone in my life might commit treason it's not like it hasnt happen before Please people try not to explore Read up the past, chop it in half. twist and turn the story to create a brand new epic movie in all its glory Maybe its the people Maybe its the lifestyle Could be the english Oh wait its called singlish Changi Airport T3, i cant wait to step foot into thee onto a couple of jetplanes i shall flee. thank goodness one by one all of us are moving further and futher away Learning how to grow each and every day HURRAY i am gonna be out of this cell Maybe you'll learn not to show and tell i cant wait to find my life again i cant wait to meet my friends again I'm reluctant to leave some of you but what the heck i'll be coming home soon reunions? i need to have one that has been long overdue yr 3 prom? hmmm i'll keep it in lieu Outwit, outlast, outplay. We'll all stay in this game insomnia is here to stay Let's go fly a kite let's go crazy with vodka Let's party till out feet hurt For i am only 20 now live life, drink wine and be merry for some of us are still young and angst driven we'll just blame it on not knowing better dont we all love growing pains
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